The way the right speaks of domestic violence is the same way the left speaks about violence from foreign nations.

How the right speaks of male on female harm:

In an interaction, every person plays a part, and it is a cycle. He is just not getting his needs met, and if he was, he wouldn’t have reason to act this way. The point of life is giving, so you be the first step in giving it to him; don’t wait for him to love you right to do so. Don’t focus on what you’re getting; focus on what you’re giving. We live in a selfish culture that focuses on getting instead of gratitude. If only you’d find out what men need, and do your best to give it to them, they will stop behaving negatively and treat you well.

It is the way you treated him. He had a different upbringing; it was very difficult; how can you expect more of him when he’s traumatized in this way? Don’t you know what his father did to him? How his mother treated him? Violence is just a cycle; your dysfunction feeds off each other; if you treat him differently, he’ll respond in kind. You can’t wait for him to take the first step; that’s immature. Show him love and he’ll blossom; treat him with kindness, he will change.

You think setting boundaries will inspire him to grow? To shift? To be better? You can’t be criticized into being better. The issue is that you think your different way of life is the correct way, the better way, the true way: and that’s ethnocentric. Part of maturing as an adult is realizing two things can be true at once, and your outlook on things is not necessarily always the correct one. We have a self centered way of looking at things, as if our mindset is the only correct one, and we have to embrace others and be accepting of them.

Part of maturity is looking at your part in the interaction, your contribution to the situation, and your mindset on a matter. Don’t go around the world looking for what you can change in others; start with changing yourself. You have an issue with his behavior? It is because you do not respect him enough, show him enough veneration, or have faith in him. If he came home and was greeted with a smile, a warm meal, and a cozy home, the best would be brought out in him and he will be inspired to change.

How the left speaks about Islamic Harm:

We play a part in the reasons they act this way. War has been a cycle of violence; they do not have their basic needs met; you think if they had a full belly, they would be acting out in violence?

It is the way the U.S treated them. Their upbringing was one of bombings and loss; it was very difficult; how can you expect anything more of them when they were traumatized in this way? Don’t you know how white people treated them?

Violence is just a cycle; the dysfunction of war feeds off each other, and if give them the basics such as education and clean water, they’ll respond by being productive. It is in our power to change them, as the more influential party.

We should show gratitude for what they have given us; the harm is not their true nature; the goodness is; within the heart of everyone lies a desire for love and connection. We are all so selfish today and focus on what we can get, where there is so much to give from our vast resources. Show them kindness and they’ll blossom; give them opportunity, and they’ll see how good that is; grant them access to American privilege, and they will flourish. Would you be any different if you were in their shoes – growing up in starvation, rubble, at the mercy of the American military? All people have goodness within them, and how we treat them will determine whether it emerges or not. You can’t subjugate a culture into being better. Treat the criminals as you yourself want to be treated and give them the opportunity you had, and watch the change take place.

We are too ethnocentric as a culture; we think Westernism is the only way. For centuries, we have dominated, and created an environment where our culture is the only acceptable norm: and it is time for us to become educated in multiculturalism. The issue is that we think our better way of life is the correct way, the better way, the true way: and that’s ethnocentric. Part of maturing as an adult is realizing two things can be true at once, and your outlook on things is not necessarily always the correct one. We have a self centered way of looking at things, as if our mindset is the only correct one, and we have to embrace others and be accepting of them.

Part of maturity is looking at your part in the interaction, your contribution to the situation, and your mindset on a matter. Don’t go around the world looking for what you can change in others; start with changing yourself. You have an issue with their behavior? It is because you do not provide enough understanding, enough broadness of thought, and enough acceptance. If you give a home to the coldest people, the fire within will warm them. If you throw a bomb at the coldest people, the fuses will ignite their hatred. If their encounters with Americans were full of smiles, warmth, financial support, sustenance, and education, the best will be brought out in them and they will be inspired to evolve.

The truth is this: treating others badly comes from entitlement. And that’s true for every party that treats another badly, whether it’s an individual, a group, or a government system.

People act the way they do because of their own reasons. Telling them it is because of how others treat them provides another tool that they then use, to repeat to those who they are mistreating: and hearing that motivates them to act that way, because if you behave one way, then I can behave in another.

Here are some great resources on the matter:

The root of the trauma is to keep going back to the source of the problem and trying to change it, as opposed to seeing the problem, and getting as far the hell away from it as you can and finding people who don’t give you the problem in the first place.